A summary, just in case the 30 pages is daunting to you (as it was to me): Lois IMed Clark, she bitched, he was nice, they flirted, stuff happened, they agreed that it was bad but decided not to stop, she mentioned Clark's father (who is dead), apologized, felt bad about it, Clark was understanding and polite about it, he offered to walk her home.
Attila Lois: so Kent, isn't it a bit late for you to be up on a school night?
Attila Lois: shouldn't you be asleep, dreaming of getting up to play with the cows?
AConfu: No, I'm clearly destined to talk to women who want to eviscerate me. I learned that word in biology before you ask.
Attila Lois: now smalltown, i have no desire to eviscerate you. that would be counter productive.
AConfu: Okay. So what can I do for you, Lois?
Attila Lois: you can come over. i have the lights down low. the barry white on. some wine. i need a good lap dance.
Attila Lois: you can entertain me. i'm bored.
AConfu: Clearly, if you bothered to message me. Lap dancing, though, is out.
Attila Lois: damn, you have those strong farm thighs. i was hoping for a glimpse.
AConfu: Not tonight.
Attila Lois: tomorrow?
AConfu: I'll think about it.
Attila Lois: well, i'm busy friday and saturday. i'm sure we can find some videotape around here somewhere and you can give me what i want and then i wont ever have to ask for anything ever again.
AConfu: *sigh* Lois.
Attila Lois: come on smalltown. i've been dreaming of you naked since that shower i saw you take.
AConfu: Um. Thank you?
Attila Lois: uh-huh. i'd ask what your mother fed you and then i'd say something about you experimenting with cucumbers but i am doing my nails.
AConfu: Lois, I don't think that they make waterproof keyboards.
Attila Lois: your concern for my keyboard is touching. but it's survived worse. i do live with chloe.
AConfu: I was talking about mine.
Attila Lois: smalltown, what are you doing with your computer?
Attila Lois: do i want to know?
Attila Lois: does it involve bovine porn?
AConfu: Drinking water and talking to you.
AConfu: Which seems to be a dangerous combination.
Attila Lois: so chloe is being pissy at you?
AConfu: A little, but I think I talked her around. I'm pretty good at that.
Attila Lois: understandable.
Attila Lois: but really? ask her how her date went.
AConfu: I did.
Attila Lois: ask her about her Luthor sponsored hook up.
Attila Lois: you heard me.
Attila Lois: apparently, along with becoming the CEO of lexcorp, lex has also become a pimp.
AConfu: Why does that not surprise me?
Attila Lois: i have a feeling very little shocks you.
Attila Lois: no wait, that's a lie.
Attila Lois: everything shocks you.
Attila Lois: i'm actually naked now.
Attila Lois: right. now.
AConfu: That didn't shock me.
Attila Lois: well, no. it really doesn't shock anyone anymore.
Attila Lois: by the way, did i thank you?
Attila Lois: i think i need to thank you.
AConfu: For what?
Attila Lois: kent, remember that damn frat party you and your roomies dragged me and chloe to a few months ago?
AConfu: Yes. Vaguely.
Attila Lois: do you remember that Lois got drunk?
AConfu: Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?
Attila Lois: because.
Attila Lois: you remember how she was wearing a very short skirt?
AConfu: Um. Yes?
Attila Lois: do you remember that you borrowed wally's digital camera?
Attila Lois: oddest thing, really.
Attila Lois: i decided to introduce myself to lex on line the other day.
Attila Lois: lex, who i shall now refer to as your boyfriend because i can.
Attila Lois: and somehow my apperance came up.
Attila Lois: and i said, well, clark's boyfriend, you've never seen me in person.
Attila Lois: or me at all, really.
AConfu: He is not my boyfriend!
Attila Lois: and your boyfriend said no.
Attila Lois: that his boyfriend (you) popped into his office.
Attila Lois: with pictures of me at that party.
Attila Lois: drunk.
Attila Lois: in my short shirt.
Attila Lois: straddling a couch.
Attila Lois: and then described me as the "bane of your existance".
AConfu: I didn't say that....
Attila Lois: sure.
Attila Lois: clark?
Attila Lois: i'm going to need those pictures.
Attila Lois: for mere starters.
AConfu: Yes. I'll send them to you.
AConfu: Um. Did I mention that you looked really good in them.
Attila Lois: no. i want all the hard copies.
Attila Lois: actually, i want to see the camera.
Attila Lois: and quit sucking up.
AConfu: Um. It's Wally's. You'll have to talk to him.
Attila Lois: you will get it for me.
Attila Lois: you have no say in that.
AConfu: I don't know if I can.
Attila Lois: clark.
Attila Lois: you showed the most powerful man in metropolis a picture of me.
Attila Lois: in a skirt that strippers wear.
Attila Lois: drunk.
Attila Lois: giving a couch some sorely needed loving.
Attila Lois: i want the camera.
AConfu: He asked. And I always have had trouble saying no to Lex.
Attila Lois: he asked what?
Attila Lois: because you're his boyfriend.
AConfu: To see the pictures.
Attila Lois: because you love him and have lots of sex with him
AConfu: And *stop* calling him my boyfriend.
AConfu: I'd rather have sex with you.
Attila Lois: the pictures. not pictures of me in that skirt.
Attila Lois: and considering how much you hate me...
Attila Lois: yes, i can see you would never want to have sex with lex.
Attila Lois: he's still your soulmate. you love him.
AConfu: I don't hate you.
Attila Lois: shut up, you do. you've told me.
AConfu: I'm not in love with Lex.
Attila Lois: clark, do you have any idea how bad those pictures make me look?
AConfu: You looked really good as I recall.
AConfu: And. You asked me to take the pictures when you saw the camera.
Attila Lois: i was drunk. and you didn't have to show him that one.
Attila Lois: i look like a whore.
AConfu: You look beautiful, Lois. Seriously.
Attila Lois: smalltown, your idea of beauty is derranged. i'm fucking a couch in that picture.
AConfu: I....like your hair. All wild and....um. I don't think I'll say any more.
Attila Lois: you said "bane of my existence". smalltown, this constitutes major groveling.
AConfu: I didn't say that, Lex did.
Attila Lois: i have decided. you will be my workhorse now.
AConfu: What? What do you expect me to do?
Attila Lois: orgnaize my cd's.
Attila Lois: to start.
AConfu: But that's not difficult at all.
Attila Lois: i said to start.
AConfu: Okay. I'll do anything for you. I guess maybe I shouldn't have done that. It was a little frat boy-ish.
AConfu: Anything that doesn't involve personal stuff. You know. Like sex.
Attila Lois: like i'd ask you for sex stuff anyway.
Attila Lois: have you ever had sex, smalltown?
AConfu: And no, I'm not giving you details.
Attila Lois: i wouldn't ask for them. i'm pretty sure how that actually goes.
Attila Lois: entertain me some.
Attila Lois: or more.
Attila Lois: or at all.
Attila Lois: i don't know. tell me a story. read me a bedtime story.
Attila Lois: sing a song.
Attila Lois: write a poem. tell me what porn wally rented for tonight.
AConfu: You haven't ever heard me sing, have you?
Attila Lois: i wouldn't give you my cell phone number to call me so you could sing to me.
AConfu: I already have it. Chloe gave it to me as an emergency contact.
Attila Lois: remind me to take away all her chocolate and tampons.
AConfu: Um. That could be a bad move.
Attila Lois: so what are you going to do with that number smalltown?
Attila Lois: yeah, well she deserves it.
AConfu: Hope I never have to use it for the purpose Chloe gave it to me for.
Attila Lois: are you this serious all the time?
AConfu: Most of it, yeah.
Attila Lois: why? i mean, i know Smallville was like twin peeks without the Laura Palmer but man, was it so bad that you became mr. no personality?
AConfu: I have a personality. It's just buried kinda deep.
AConfu: What do you want me to do, walk into a room like....Lex does and dip you in a kiss?
Attila Lois: ...
Attila Lois: did you just grow a pair in front of my eyes?
Attila Lois: and i'm pretty sure that luthor would never try that with me.
AConfu: I've always had a pair, just never showed them with you.
AConfu: Probably not, but you know the walk I mean.
Attila Lois: actually, i have seen them.
AConfu: Oh, right. You have a strange obsession with me and that shower.
Attila Lois: tell me smalltown, if you had walked in on me in that shower, would you still be standing there?
AConfu: That depends. How big would the shower I'd walk in on be?
AConfu: See, that one was kind of small for two people.
Attila Lois: lets say moderate size. big enough for me and one guy oh, about your size.
AConfu: And you wouldn't be spitting nails at me?
Attila Lois: i know when to be quiet.
AConfu: So. You'd be there, all....wet. Water streaming down your body.
Attila Lois: well, that usually happens when in a shower.
Attila Lois: no, smalltown. i shower in my work suits.
AConfu: Way to ruin the fantasy, Lois.
Attila Lois: okay.
Attila Lois: i bet i can do this better than you.
AConfu: Go for it.
Attila Lois: Mmm, so you know the thing I said about me being quiet?
Attila Lois: Well, usually that involves my mouth being muffled.
AConfu: By what exactly?
Attila Lois: Yes.
Attila Lois: Fuck.
Attila Lois: Sounds good.
AConfu: Um. Lois. You. Me?
Attila Lois: why not?
AConfu: I thought you didn't like me.
Attila Lois: i never said that.
AConfu: No, I don't know what to say.
Attila Lois: yeah.
Attila Lois: thought so.
Attila Lois: so anyway.
AConfu: You know. That night....
Attila Lois: what night?
AConfu: The night I took the pictures.
Attila Lois: yes?
AConfu: They were for me.
Attila Lois: i figured.
Attila Lois: if you had asked, they would have been much better.
AConfu: You....would have let me?
Attila Lois: sure.
AConfu: I had no idea.
Attila Lois: what would you have asked for?
AConfu: Not pictures. You.
Attila Lois: really now?
Attila Lois: smalltown, are you sure you've had sex?
AConfu: I'm sure I remember it.
AConfu: Well. To be honest.
Attila Lois: well, when you have sex with me, you'll remember every damn detail. promise.
Attila Lois: when what?
AConfu: When I have sex with you?
AConfu: It's a when?
Attila Lois: i thought that was pretty much assumed between the two of us?
AConfu: Um. Not that I know of.
Attila Lois: one night, too many drinks, something to brag about with your roommates while i try to think of how to look chlo in the eye again?
AConfu: That's all it would be, isn't it?
Attila Lois: but you know what smalltown?
Attila Lois: it'd be worth it.
AConfu: And no, I wouldn't have bragged.
AConfu: It would?
Attila Lois: yes, it would really be worth it.
AConfu: Why did you have to be Chloe's cousin?
Attila Lois: because we're living the life of a fox soap opera.
AConfu: God, I know.
AConfu: Lois? Chloe aside, if I asked you to come over to my room right now, would you?
Attila Lois: well, your room is closer to where i am now than the apartment is.
AConfu: Where are you?
AConfu: I thought....
Attila Lois: i'm never at home anymore, smalltown.
AConfu: Why not?
Attila Lois: so, in retrospect if i wanted, i could just hop over to your room whenever my little heart desired.
AConfu: You don't know how close I am to saying come over here now, Lois.
Attila Lois: could i come over you smalltown? could i really?
Attila Lois: too bad i have to stay here and pretend that i work.
AConfu: Any time.
AConfu: Yeah, too bad.
Attila Lois: and it really is too bad that these desks look very very sturdy.
AConfu: Oh, yes? *smiles* What would you do if I was there?
Attila Lois: what i wanted to do.
AConfu: Wanted? That night?
Attila Lois: want.
AConfu: You like to take charge. Do you like that in bed too?
Attila Lois: usually. you're very easy going, kent. are you that way all the time? because sometimes there's nothing like being thrown down.
AConfu: I don't think I could that yet, but....
Attila Lois: you mean you couldn't sneak in here and shove everything off the table and push me down and throw up my skirt?
Attila Lois: that's too bad.
AConfu: I could try that....yes. I think I could. If I didn't tear it off. But I'd be gentleman enough to bring you something to wear in case I did.
Attila Lois: how would you tear off my skirt?
Attila Lois: i mean, this isn't a danielle steel novel.
AConfu: Just in my hands.
AConfu: No. It's not. I'd be kissing you, and I'd do it before I realized.
Attila Lois: you're that strong?
AConfu: Kind of....
Attila Lois: hale bales good for that sort of thing?
AConfu: Yeah, they are. You'd be surprised. Or maybe not....
AConfu: So. What's under the skirt?
Attila Lois: what's always under my skirt, smalltown.
Attila Lois: nothing.
Attila Lois: panties are expensive.
Attila Lois: and there's a reason i got an a in ethics.
AConfu: I think I need a translation of the last part, but nothing I understand.
AConfu: I'd be kind of surprised that you had nothing on, though. My fingers would have to touch to really know.
Attila Lois: you would be extremely polite about that, wouldn't you?
Attila Lois: letting me come first?
Attila Lois: because i've had a really bad day.
AConfu: I would. But I'd do more. Not only my fingers. My tongue too.
Attila Lois: I've always been a really big fan of your mouth.
AConfu: Uh. Lois? *grins* Are we doing what I think we are?
Attila Lois: don't think, smalltown.
Attila Lois: you're ruining the mood.
AConfu: It's good, don't worry. I think we're having cyber sex. And I'm....very up for it. If you know what I mean.
Attila Lois: smalltown, you've been up for it since we met.
AConfu: Not quite.
Attila Lois: and 'if you know what i mean'? how does anyone think you're a writer?
AConfu: I was trying to lighten the mood a little.
AConfu: Okay. I'm as hard as a rock. Is that better?
Attila Lois: cliched and overused.
Attila Lois: but you know what? i'll look past it.
AConfu: Only you would critique my cybering technique. That's one of the things I like about you.
AConfu: How about I'm just hard? Cliched, but gets the point across.
Attila Lois: that works too.
Attila Lois: and remind me to never ask you about the other things you like about me.
Attila Lois: i'd rather not know.
AConfu: I like your hair.
Attila Lois: anyway, if i didn't have to slave over this paper, you know what i'd do?
AConfu: What would you do?
AConfu: Tell me about it.
Attila Lois: then again, you live with pete and wally so i'd never just show up.
Attila Lois: i swear, wally pinches my ass everytime i see him. i can never catch him at that.
AConfu: They do sometimes go away for the weekend. So as this is a fantasy, let's pretend they have.
Attila Lois: now, i really like that desk chair that you have.
AConfu: I'm sitting in it now.
Attila Lois: i want to be sitting there. to start off with.
AConfu: You in the chair or sitting on me? *grins* Either works for me.
Attila Lois: well, the sitting on you comes later.
AConfu: Okay. Never let it be said I rush things.
Attila Lois: i'm sure everything moves slowly out on the farm.
AConfu: Not everything, but good things are worth not rushing.
Attila Lois: so how much did you like that skirt i wore, kent?
AConfu: It has featured in just about every fantasy of you I've had since.
Attila Lois: so if i wore it and sat in your desk chair and wiggled forward a bit so it was pulled up really high, could i see your mouth in action?
AConfu: See, feel, is there a difference? I'd kneel on the floor and kiss your feet first. Unless you don't like that?
Attila Lois: it's a nice thought kent, but i'm not that into megalomania.
Attila Lois: fantasies?
Attila Lois: about my skirt?
AConfu: Yes. Fantasies.
AConfu: About you. The skirt is a supporting player.
Attila Lois: what's the current favorite?
AConfu: You, straddling me. The rest changed with the mood. You're in the skirt, lowering over me and you're so warm and wet....
Attila Lois: is my shirt on or off?
AConfu: Again that depends on the mood.
AConfu: Let's say on, but you're not wearing anything under it. So I can get my hands under it.
Attila Lois: so i'm riding you and your hands are under my shirt?
AConfu: Any problem with that?
Attila Lois: mmm, no.
Attila Lois: i was just thinking how nice that sounds.
Attila Lois: and wondering where everyone else in the office is right now.
AConfu: It does....
AConfu: Why? *grins*
Attila Lois: well, i'm not going to get off with a full group watching.
AConfu: Lock the door?
AConfu: And I'm getting you off?
Attila Lois: if there was a lock on the door i would use it.
Attila Lois: but i'm vocal.
Attila Lois: and yes.
AConfu: Oh. Damn.
AConfu: I want to hear you.
Attila Lois: well, not so much with the getting off because you know. can't do anything with the door wide open.
AConfu: I get it. You're wet?
Attila Lois: mmm. then again, been that way since we started talking about the pictures.
AConfu: That long? You like the idea of me looking at those pictures?
AConfu: And couldn't you wedge a chair under the door and suck on your fingers or something? I've had to do that more than a few times....
Attila Lois: the idea of you looking at those pictures is very nice. i'd love to catch the live show some day.
Attila Lois: is your door locked now?
AConfu: Just let me know when.
AConfu: Yes, it is.
AConfu: Don't want Pete or Wally walking in on me.
Attila Lois: what are you doing right now?
AConfu: Sitting in my desk chair. Typing. Stroking my cock.
AConfu: Thinking about it being your hand and not mine.
Attila Lois: did you just type the word "cock", kent? now that is shocking. should we mark this day down on the calendar?
AConfu: I'm not that much of a kid, at least not any more, Lois.
Attila Lois: have you ever done anal, kent?
Attila Lois: suddenly that sounds really good.
AConfu: You mean me, or with a girl?
Attila Lois: with. a. girl.
AConfu: Ummmm. Kind of. And hell, yes. I would with you.
Attila Lois: kind of?
AConfu: Well, it wasn't my cock. Do I need to draw a picture or do you get it?
Attila Lois: i'm pretty sure that i get it. although a demonstration would be greatly appreciated.
AConfu: *grins* Your wish is my command. Though this is easier on a bed. So I'll push you down on the bed, and lick my way down your back.
Attila Lois: do you want me to spread my legs for you or do you want to spread them yourself?
AConfu: You do it. I want to see all of you.
Attila Lois: so i'd just spread my legs as wide as i could but i'd be moaning. i moan, smalltown. a lot.
AConfu: I like that. I like when the person I'm with makes noises. It gets me off.
Attila Lois: i also talk.
AConfu: I will be very disappointed if it's not dirty talk, Lois.
Attila Lois: all sorts of dirty little things.
AConfu: Oh, good....
Attila Lois: who knows? i might call you by your actual name.
AConfu: I'd probably stop for a second in shock if you did. But I'd continue licking down your back....
Attila Lois: and i'd be telling you to hurry because i'd be so wet and i'd want you so badly.
AConfu: My fingers would be inside you when my tongue got to your hole. I'd open you with both, slowly, almost but not quite teasing.
Attila Lois: you want to know something kent?
Attila Lois: i go bare.
Attila Lois: do i have to explain that?
AConfu: I think I get it. I never found it hot, but I think you could have a cock - and I don't mean a strap-on - and I'd find it hot right now.
Attila Lois: despite what everyone thinks, i don't have a dick.
Attila Lois: but i do have a clit (ignore the rhyme) and i'd be rubbing it because you got me so hot.
AConfu: Our fingers would be rubbing together, and I'd be licking you. God, so smooth....feeling you. It's amazing. You're so wet....
Attila Lois: come on kent. just slide it in. i want it so much think about it and you're too damn patient. i want you in me, on me. i want you to make me scream. i want
to make you scream.
AConfu: Yes, I want to fuck you, Lois. So I do. I slide it in and you're so wet around me, so tight, I almost come right here and now.
Attila Lois: will you come for me kent? i want you to come for me sitting in your room.
AConfu: I will, and I don't think it'll be long, either, Lois. Will you come for me, too? Right there, in the office?
Attila Lois: i want you to be thinking of me when you come and know that next time i want to watch.
Attila Lois: i'm so
Attila Lois: god, so close
AConfu: I want you to watch. Or be there, on me, when I do. I don't care which, Lois. Next time.
AConfu: I stroke your clit as I move in you, as hard as I dare let myself.
Attila Lois: i'd grab at anything i could because it'd feel so good and i'd want to move harder and faster and just make you hurt with it.
AConfu: Fuck, Lois....
Attila Lois: and i'd squeeze around you before either one of us came because i'd want to hear the noises that you'd make.
AConfu: Moans. Lots of moans, shouts, even. I think when we do this, we'll have to go somewhere soundproof, because I make a lot of noise too.
AConfu: But that's for later, so I'll just lean over you and moan in your ear.
AConfu: Whisper how hot and tight and wet you are....
Attila Lois: and i'd stop talking, stop breathing right before i came because you'd feel so good and i'd want it to go on forever.
AConfu: God, you'd just ripple around me, screaming - you're a screamer when you come, aren't you? - and I'd come, so hard, filling you completely and I'd slump against your back for a moment before I lay down beside you.
Attila Lois: ...
Attila Lois: uh-huh?
AConfu: That was....
Attila Lois: uh-huh.
AConfu: *kisses your lips, very softly*
Attila Lois: you do realize that this means every time this IM window pops up, you're getting hard, right?
AConfu: I'll be disappointed if I don't.
AConfu: And this has to happen for real.
Attila Lois: and i'm pretty sure i'm calling your cell right before one of your journalism classes tomorrow, just to moan in your ear. that should make class extra fun.
AConfu: I'll call you before your classes too. Though I was thinking more of a morning quickie over the phone....
Attila Lois: it is morning. and if you call me before my coffee, i will take your head off.
AConfu: So it is. Okay. Lunch, maybe....?
AConfu: And we have to meet for me to get you the camera.
AConfu: Do you think I'll be able to keep my hands off you?
Attila Lois: in public, you better.
Attila Lois: in private, not until i tell you you can.
AConfu: What if I don't want to wait in private? What if I want to brush your hair back and bite your neck?
Attila Lois: then you ask. nicely.
AConfu: I can handle that. I know how to treat a girl.
AConfu: Or should that be woman?
Attila Lois: yeah, i've heard.
Attila Lois: whatever. i work with both.
AConfu: I've changed, Lois.
Attila Lois: i'm not judging you here, smalltown.
AConfu: I just know what you've heard. I'm not that guy any more.
Attila Lois: smalltown, do you think we're dating now?
AConfu: God, no.
AConfu: Though I wouldn't mind if it happened later.
Attila Lois: how much later?
AConfu: I don't know, when it feels right? If it feels right? I'd like for it to be a possibility, how's that?
Attila Lois: okay
AConfu: I know we're not exactly in love. In lust, maybe.
Attila Lois: not exactly in love?
AConfu: Call it post-coming confusion.
AConfu: I didn't word that well.
AConfu: I'm not in love with you.
AConfu: But I don't want to hurt you.
Attila Lois: what do you tell lex about me?
AConfu: That you're a pain in the ass.
Attila Lois: yeah?
AConfu: Do you deny it?
Attila Lois: well, considering what i just let you do, right now i'm going to.
AConfu: You know what I mean. Lex thinks I find you irritating. But he does know I think you're hot too.*shrug* It's true.
Attila Lois: yeah.
AConfu: What do you think of me, anyway?
Attila Lois: great mouth, looks great naked, probably kind of smart if i could get past the pretty face and my cousin used to be in love with you. so i never thought past that.
AConfu: Yeah. And that's important, Lois. For now, can we keep this - whatever the hell it is - between us?.
Attila Lois: i'm not suicidal.
AConfu: Me either.
Attila Lois: and i'm not hurting her.
Attila Lois: not over whatever this is.
AConfu: I don't want to hurt Chloe either.
AConfu: We could do it once and it could burn itself out.
Attila Lois: sure.
Attila Lois: i'm telling you now, it's not burning out after once.
AConfu: So what would the point be of hurting Chloe. Or anyone else?
AConfu: Yeah. I didn't think so, but....
Attila Lois: no point.
Attila Lois: yeah
AConfu: I want to sneak into a bathroom with you. Fuck you as hard as I can and come out like nothing happened.
Attila Lois: would you bruise me?
AConfu: If that's what you wanted. But under your clothes, so only you and I would know.
AConfu: Of course....when I say this would only be between us...
Attila Lois: yeah?
AConfu: That might extend to anyone else who might find their way into our bed.
Attila Lois: like who?
AConfu: I don't know. It would have to be agreed upon by us both.
Attila Lois: you suggested it, you have someone in mind.
AConfu: No I don't.
Attila Lois: not at all?
AConfu: Not anyone specific, anyway.
Attila Lois: vast general idea then?
AConfu: Could be someone random. A frat party, a cute girl doesn't run off when you come up....
Attila Lois: yes, because i am that scary to look at.
AConfu: No, because she thinks we're together. Of course if anyone we knew was there, we'd have to pretend we weren't, but this is a hypothetical situation.
AConfu signed off.
AConfu signed on.
AConfu: Sorry about that, got disconnected. Hope you didn't say anything.
Attila Lois: don't worry, i wasn't waiting on bated breath.
AConfu: I know. But in that treating people right thing is not leaving them without saying something.
Attila Lois: how come i think that was your dad coming out of our mouth?
AConfu: It was.
Attila Lois: shit.
Attila Lois: clark, i didn't mean it that way.
AConfu: It's okay.
Attila Lois: i'm sorry. i wasn't thinking and it slipped out.
Attila Lois: it's not okay. it was just really... bad.
AConfu: If there's one thing I know about you, it's that your mouth - or fingers in this case - works quicker than your brain. And it's true. He did say stuff like that a lot.
Attila Lois: i'll allow you the dig because i'm feeling spectacularly bad.
Attila Lois: like, this would be a good time to ask for stuff now bad.
AConfu: Do you think you could settle for every copy of the pictures and not Wally's camera? And my word that they're erased?
Attila Lois: you can keep certain pictures. but i want to eventually see the erased camera. and by "eventually", i mean very soon.
AConfu: Sure. I'll let you see it, but here. Maybe after that we can talk. Or at least say that's what we're doing.
Attila Lois: ...okay.
AConfu: I wish you were here right now so I could show you that it's...not okay, but it will be.
Attila Lois: i'm really sorry. i am. i mean, i know how it is with my own stuff and it's not fair when people say things like that.
AConfu: I believe you, Lois.
Attila Lois: alright.
AConfu: You know some of what I'm feeling, maybe better than anyone. It's different to lose one parent. To see the other try to move on. Whether or not they do.
Attila Lois: yeah, i guess.
AConfu: Maybe we could talk about something else?
Attila Lois: that would probably be a good thing.
AConfu: Um. This might sound silly, but one of the fantasies I have about you is taking your hair down. Yes, I do *really* like your hair.
Attila Lois: taking my hair down?
AConfu: From it being up in a knot. Letting it fall over your shoulders.
Attila Lois: it's kind of long now.
AConfu: Over your breasts?
Attila Lois: yeah. it stops just under them.
AConfu: Even better, you lying on the bed with it over them, teasing me...
Attila Lois: i can do that.
AConfu: I'll bet you can.
AConfu: You never did explain exactly why you never wear panties, either.
AConfu: I'm very curious.
Attila Lois: teenaged rebellion that stuck.
Attila Lois: i have maybe four pairs.
AConfu: That makes sense.
AConfu: And the A in ethics. I'm not sure what you were implying there.
Attila Lois: skirt, leech for a prof who liked it when i crossed my legs.
Attila Lois: took me awhile to figure it out.
AConfu: Whatever works. I mean, people don't think men use their bodies. That's total bull.
Attila Lois: yeah.
Attila Lois: hey, i am really sorry.
Attila Lois: i just wanted to make sure that you understood that.
AConfu: I really know, Lois.
Attila Lois: like, let's make Lois dance naked to vanilla ice in the quad sorry.
Attila Lois: but i wont do that.
AConfu: Um. No.
Attila Lois: something like that though.
AConfu: Though in private, to better music, I wouldn't mind that.
Attila Lois: i'm not great with the dancing.
AConfu: You've seen me....
Attila Lois: have i?
AConfu: Well, you were kind of drunk. Possibly the best way to see me dance....
Attila Lois: i don't remember.
Attila Lois: i'm sure it was entertaining.
AConfu: Positively blackmail material.
Attila Lois: would you show me sometime?
AConfu: Sure. You can even film it.
Attila Lois: oh god, you have video tape of that party, right?
AConfu: Digital tape.
Attila Lois: that's why you'd let me vid your crazy dancing styles.
AConfu: From the camera.
AConfu: Um. Yeah.
Attila Lois: why would you let me take video of you dancing like you're screech in a very special episode of saved like the bell?
AConfu: So I can see just how bad it is.
Attila Lois: then you destroy the tape and carry me over your shoulder in a show of masculine pride to your "cave" (because your room looks like a cave, seriously) and
throw me on the bed to be claimed like some prize?
AConfu: God, no, unless of course that turns you on.
Attila Lois: not at all.
AConfu: Though you know, picking you up in and of itself isn't a bad idea.
Attila Lois: ask.
Attila Lois: i might want to feel all manly and do the picking up.
AConfu: I wouldn't ever want to do anything you don't want.
Attila Lois: i don't think you could make me do things i don't want to do.
Attila Lois: you're smalltown.
AConfu: I know. But I don't want to, either.
AConfu: I am.
Attila Lois: a nice guy who helps old ladies cross the street.
AConfu: Um. Sure.
Attila Lois: if i lived alone, i'd ask you to come walk me home.
AConfu: I'd do it if you lived alone, even if you didn't ask me.
Attila Lois: can i ask you a question?
Attila Lois: are you seeing someone now? i never can keep track and i don't want to be intruding on someone else’s play ground.
Attila Lois: okay, apparently that was also a bad thing to ask.
AConfu: No, not at the moment.
AConfu: No. I'm also talking to Lana. Sorry.
Attila Lois: it's fine.
AConfu: She kind of got it out of me that we cybered. I said it didn't mean more than the moment. I had to think of something to say.
Attila Lois: she what?
Attila Lois: you what?
AConfu: She figured out that something happened and I didn't lie.
AConfu: I haven't figured out what to say.
Attila Lois: how did she figure out something had happened? why were you even talking anywhere in the general area of it?
AConfu: Well, earlier, when we were talking, I mentioned that you were bored and wanted me to entertain you and I mentioned Wally's porn that you talked about
Attila Lois: and that led you to, by the way, i just had cyber sex with lois and it looks like we're going to do it in the future but without pesky computers in the way?
AConfu: No. I said it was kind of being caught up in the moment - which isn't a lie.
Attila Lois: oh, well. when we started whatever this is, was, whatever, we'd be keeping it quiet. if we can tell people, i think i'll call steve from the paper and let him print it up.
AConfu: Lois. I'm sorry.
Attila Lois: she can tell chloe.
AConfu: Lana thinks it's just a moment that got away on us. I'll ask her not to.
Attila Lois: i can't let that happen.
AConfu: I know.
Attila Lois: she can't ever know and i can't let it happen again if there's any way she'd find out.
AConfu: Okay, Lois. Can I just see what Lana says?
Attila Lois: whatever.
AConfu: Lana said she won't tell her. She's good at keeping secrets.
Attila Lois: i need a cigarette anyway.
AConfu: That's true.
Attila Lois: it's not a good cigarette.
Attila Lois: no, it's an i did something amazingly stupid cigarette.
AConfu: We did, didn't we?
AConfu: Fuck. And that is in no way an invitation.
Attila Lois: yeah. thanks for clearing that up.
AConfu: Maybe we shouldn't do this.
Attila Lois: whatever.
AConfu: Do you really think we will even be able to be in the same room and not remember what we've said here?
Attila Lois: no
AConfu: We only have to keep the secret anyway. It's not like Lana would say anything.
Attila Lois: too bad i don't trust her like you seem to.
AConfu: Well, I know Lana. You don't like her. Is there anyone you like?
AConfu: I didn't mean that.
Attila Lois: okay.
AConfu: I mean. I like you. I wouldn't want to do the things I want to with you if I didn't.
Attila Lois: yeah
Attila Lois: look, don't sweat it smalltown. i probably need to go home anyway.
AConfu: It is kind of late.
Attila Lois: yeah
AConfu: You know a part of me still wants to offer to walk you home.
Attila Lois: you do what you want to.
AConfu: Do you want me to?
Attila Lois: i said you do what you want to do kent.
AConfu: What about what you want, Lois?
Attila Lois: i want to go home.
AConfu: Do you want me to walk you home or not?
Attila Lois: i want to pack my bag, grab my shoes, shut down my computer and go home.
AConfu: I'll be there in ten minutes. If you're gone, I'll turn around and walk home.
Attila Lois: you can walk me home.
AConfu: Okay. See you in a few.
Attila Lois: okay.
Attila Lois signed off.
Questions, comments, basic screaming here.